Quote

The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.

Eoin Colfer

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Plastic
Surgeons
Explain
Scenarios
Including
Involving
Theory
Crack
Team
Bizarre
Everything
Conspiracy
Convoluted
Russian
Mafia
Cracks
Scenario

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

Image
Don't hate me forever, Arty, whispered Holly. I couldn't bear that.
Eoin Colfer
Image
Miss me? Bet you did ... so would I.
Eoin Colfer
Image
There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony
Eoin Colfer
Image
If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
Eoin Colfer
Image
You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue
Eoin Colfer
Image
Control puberty? snorted the bodyguard.If you manage that, you'll be the first.
Eoin Colfer
Image
I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show.
Eoin Colfer
Image
Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.
Eoin Colfer
Image
Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube? It's always cubes with you, noted Foaly, somewhat randomly. What's wrong with a nice sphere?
Eoin Colfer
Image
Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
Eoin Colfer
Image
The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
Eoin Colfer
Image
Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
Eoin Colfer
Image
Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of course it was a bluff and the commander was a secret fan of his, unless it was a double bluff and she really did feel antagonistic.
Eoin Colfer
Image
(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.
Eoin Colfer
Image
A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.
Eoin Colfer
Image
As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.
Eoin Colfer
Image
When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.
Eoin Colfer
Image
I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.
Eoin Colfer
Image
Me, Artemis blurted. I'm the nut. Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. I'm the nut! Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
Eoin Colfer
Image
Connor Broekhart was born to fly, or more accurately he was born flying.
Eoin Colfer