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The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.
Eoin Colfer
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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Plastic
Surgeons
Explain
Scenarios
Including
Involving
Theory
Crack
Team
Bizarre
Everything
Conspiracy
Convoluted
Russian
Mafia
Cracks
Scenario
More quotes by Eoin Colfer
If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
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Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet.
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The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
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Control puberty? snorted the bodyguard.If you manage that, you'll be the first.
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Connor Broekhart was born to fly, or more accurately he was born flying.
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That’s what I thought. When I looked that human in the face. I figured he was either a genius or crazy.” Artemis’s cool eyes glared at them from the screen. “So which is it?” asked Foaly. “A genius or crazy?” Root grabbed his tri-barreled blaster from the gun rack. “What’s the difference?
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How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
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Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers
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It would take less than a second for you to die. But that's quite long enough to be in mortal agony, don't you think?
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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
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The two of them went down in a heap, with not even a turkey to break their fall.
Eoin Colfer
I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
Eoin Colfer
...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
Eoin Colfer
A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl will never be secondary. I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second? said Holly.
Eoin Colfer
There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.
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Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up here?
Eoin Colfer
Good. Illegal is always faster.
Eoin Colfer
Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
Eoin Colfer
