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Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.
Eoin Colfer
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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Back
Human
Humans
Fowl
Artemis
Dealing
Stay
More quotes by Eoin Colfer
The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.
Eoin Colfer
You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue
Eoin Colfer
Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
Eoin Colfer
Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you... ... What is it? [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. Yeah, agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. Why am I an imbecile?
Eoin Colfer
Very well. I understand. Just ... shut up!
Eoin Colfer
I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. I am not here. Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass! Donal let out a long suffering sigh. Eoin is being a writer. Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
Eoin Colfer
How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
Eoin Colfer
She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl
Eoin Colfer
Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four? Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. I don't think Opal bothers with laws.
Eoin Colfer
I have a lovely office at the back of my house it's an old stable and you can see right out to the countryside on one side and into the house on the other side.
Eoin Colfer
We lost the crickets.
Eoin Colfer
Miss me? Bet you did ... so would I.
Eoin Colfer
how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.
Eoin Colfer
I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
Eoin Colfer
Holly, do you trust me?” Holly groaned. “Artemis, don’t ask me that. I just know one of your outrageous plans is coming.” “Do you trust me?” “Yes,” Holly sighed. “I do. More than anyone.
Eoin Colfer
Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said.
Eoin Colfer
I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
Eoin Colfer
Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. Mmm, he mumbled around his tongue. Horse. Tasty Let's go, said Foaly nervously. Let's go right now.
Eoin Colfer
Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?
Eoin Colfer
If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
Eoin Colfer