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My bugs don't have bugs.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
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More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said.
Eoin Colfer
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No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
Eoin Colfer
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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
Eoin Colfer
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(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.
Eoin Colfer
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Maybe I’ll keep you.” Abbot chuckled and prodded Artemis’s back with his sword. “It’d be nice to have a pet human around. I could teach you tricks.” “I have a trick for you,” said Artemis, and he fired a single blast from the gun.
Eoin Colfer
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Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.
Eoin Colfer
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Of course I saved you, she said. I couldn't do without you. And because she was happy and flushed with magic Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.
Eoin Colfer
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When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.
Eoin Colfer
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I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
Eoin Colfer
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What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis: Holly, how did you find me? Holly: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered: now, who could that be?
Eoin Colfer
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'Insanity... I like it.
Eoin Colfer
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Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.
Eoin Colfer
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It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.
Eoin Colfer
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Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
Eoin Colfer
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Look at those two. Wasting time. You wouldn't catch me doing that.
Eoin Colfer
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Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.
Eoin Colfer
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Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.
Eoin Colfer
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My truffles? You took them? That's just mean!
Eoin Colfer