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Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Ladies
Anything
Spitting
Scratching
Mummy

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Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
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I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show.
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We lost the crickets.
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How was your... eh... trip? Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. Um, eventful.
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I have no time for babbling foolishness.” “Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling.
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Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.
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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
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Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time? Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember? No. I was unconscious.
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There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.
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(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!
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Butler,” he called, his voice thin and childlike in the wind. “Yes, Artemis, what?” “If something goes wrong, wait for me. No matter how it looks, I will return. I will bring them all back.
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Trust me. I'm a genius.
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Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said.
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When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.
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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
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Don't hate me forever, Arty, whispered Holly. I couldn't bear that.
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I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
Eoin Colfer
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
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Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.
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