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Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Folks
Gibbering
Exist
Fowl
Existence
Artemis
Life
Moron
Proceed
Folk
Assumption
Fairy

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.
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Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.
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Together we will be unstoppable.
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(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.
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'Insanity... I like it.
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I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show.
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Connor Broekhart was born to fly, or more accurately he was born flying.
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The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
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Victor Vigny: It is like the old fairy tale. The boy saves the princess they fall in love. He invents a flying machine - along with his dashing teacher, of course. They get married and name thier firstborn after the aforementioned dashing teacher. Conor: I don't recall that fairy tale from the nursery. Victor Vigny: Trust me, It's a classic.
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It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.
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A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.
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Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up here?
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Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.
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Artemis: How long will it take you to prepare the time spell? N1 chewed his knuckle: About as long as it takes you to take your clothes off. Aaarrk, Artemis half choked.
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No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
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If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter he will pay you a decent wage.” “Will he make me bathe?” “No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” “Ah. One of those.
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There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony
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(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.
Eoin Colfer
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That’s what I thought. When I looked that human in the face. I figured he was either a genius or crazy.” Artemis’s cool eyes glared at them from the screen. “So which is it?” asked Foaly. “A genius or crazy?” Root grabbed his tri-barreled blaster from the gun rack. “What’s the difference?
Eoin Colfer
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I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.
Eoin Colfer