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You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Wouldn
Read
Danced
Clue
Shirt
Shirts
Fronts
Front

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Look! said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, Someone who cares!
Eoin Colfer
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If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter he will pay you a decent wage.” “Will he make me bathe?” “No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” “Ah. One of those.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis: Holly, how did you find me? Holly: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered: now, who could that be?
Eoin Colfer
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Sounded like girls. Mixed feelings on that score. He didn't despise them with the same passion he used to. In fact, Benny suspected that there would come a time in the not-too-distant future when he might develop a mysterious interest in them.
Eoin Colfer
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Maybe I’ll keep you.” Abbot chuckled and prodded Artemis’s back with his sword. “It’d be nice to have a pet human around. I could teach you tricks.” “I have a trick for you,” said Artemis, and he fired a single blast from the gun.
Eoin Colfer
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I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.
Eoin Colfer
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What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
Eoin Colfer
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Miss me? Bet you did ... so would I.
Eoin Colfer
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A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
Eoin Colfer
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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
Eoin Colfer
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Control puberty? snorted the bodyguard.If you manage that, you'll be the first.
Eoin Colfer
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It was calling me, that button, he offered as his excuse. I couldn't resist. -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-
Eoin Colfer
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Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time? Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember? No. I was unconscious.
Eoin Colfer
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Oh,It's going to be so easy to kill you,scoffed Opal.
Eoin Colfer
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Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.
Eoin Colfer
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The two of them went down in a heap, with not even a turkey to break their fall.
Eoin Colfer
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Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.
Eoin Colfer
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No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
Eoin Colfer
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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
Eoin Colfer
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Nobody's death is impending. ...Well technically everyone's death is impending.
Eoin Colfer