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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Self
Mention
Younger
Keeping
Protection
Internet
Dangerous
Friends
Opal
Mother
Charging

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. Mmm, he mumbled around his tongue. Horse. Tasty Let's go, said Foaly nervously. Let's go right now.
Eoin Colfer
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Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
Eoin Colfer
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Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.
Eoin Colfer
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Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.
Eoin Colfer
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Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity? Artemis blinked. Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
Eoin Colfer
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I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. I am not here. Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass! Donal let out a long suffering sigh. Eoin is being a writer. Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
Eoin Colfer
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HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book? FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.
Eoin Colfer
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And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.
Eoin Colfer
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Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis looked at Holly and felt a tremendous affection for her... he could properly appreciate how fierce and beautiful his best friend was... She is truly magical, thought Artemis. Perhaps her qualities are more obvious to me now that I have decided to sacrifice myself.
Eoin Colfer
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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
Eoin Colfer
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This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.
Eoin Colfer
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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.
Eoin Colfer
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Anything else, Butler? The cosh, sir.
Eoin Colfer
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa, intoned Opal, finishing her chant. Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Eoin Colfer
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Of course. Opal is toying with our emotions for her own gratification. Nothing more. She wishes to place herself in a position of power, emotionally.
Eoin Colfer
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Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly.
Eoin Colfer
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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
Eoin Colfer
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Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
Eoin Colfer
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I don't like lollipops.
Eoin Colfer