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I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Going
Gnome
Way
Rent
Captain
Orders
Cop
Captains
Stand
Order

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
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We lost the crickets, she said. Even you can't make that sound tough. ...I am Butler, he said with a straight-face. Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.
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Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.
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I have no time for babbling foolishness.” “Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling.
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The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
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Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.
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I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.
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Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity? Artemis blinked. Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
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How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
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Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
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Artemis: How long will it take you to prepare the time spell? N1 chewed his knuckle: About as long as it takes you to take your clothes off. Aaarrk, Artemis half choked.
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Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.
Eoin Colfer
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Anything else, Butler? The cosh, sir.
Eoin Colfer
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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
Eoin Colfer
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I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.
Eoin Colfer
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What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.
Eoin Colfer
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Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.
Eoin Colfer
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I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland. A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.
Eoin Colfer
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Butler,” he called, his voice thin and childlike in the wind. “Yes, Artemis, what?” “If something goes wrong, wait for me. No matter how it looks, I will return. I will bring them all back.
Eoin Colfer
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We lost the crickets.
Eoin Colfer