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I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Cop
Captains
Stand
Order
Going
Gnome
Way
Rent
Captain
Orders

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony
Eoin Colfer
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I am not exuding anything, said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.
Eoin Colfer
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I want you to know, my dear friend, that without you, I would not be the person I am today. He leaned in close and whispered, I was a broken boy, and you fixed me. Thank you.
Eoin Colfer
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No alcohol, Riley. She nodded at the screen. How are you liking the twenty-first century? Riley burped. The Take That are most melodic. And God bless Harry Potter is all I can say. If not for him, all of London would have been consumed by the dark arts.
Eoin Colfer
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Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.
Eoin Colfer
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The two of them went down in a heap, with not even a turkey to break their fall.
Eoin Colfer
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa, intoned Opal, finishing her chant. Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Eoin Colfer
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A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
Eoin Colfer
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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
Eoin Colfer
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It was calling me, that button, he offered as his excuse. I couldn't resist. -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-
Eoin Colfer
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(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.
Eoin Colfer
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Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.
Eoin Colfer
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Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time? Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember? No. I was unconscious.
Eoin Colfer
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Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet.
Eoin Colfer
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We lost the crickets.
Eoin Colfer
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I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.
Eoin Colfer
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Of course. Opal is toying with our emotions for her own gratification. Nothing more. She wishes to place herself in a position of power, emotionally.
Eoin Colfer
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There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.
Eoin Colfer
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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.
Eoin Colfer
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No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
Eoin Colfer