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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Punishing
Starts
Trouble
Imagination

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I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.
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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
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If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter he will pay you a decent wage.” “Will he make me bathe?” “No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” “Ah. One of those.
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Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
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Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?
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What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.
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Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.
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In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.
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Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.
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Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
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Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?
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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
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When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?
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Trust me. I'm a genius.
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I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
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If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
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Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.
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Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers
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Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.
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