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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Punishing
Starts
Trouble
Imagination

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
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Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. Mmm, he mumbled around his tongue. Horse. Tasty Let's go, said Foaly nervously. Let's go right now.
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Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.
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...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
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She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl
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Don’t feel bad I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.
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Artemis looked at Holly and felt a tremendous affection for her... he could properly appreciate how fierce and beautiful his best friend was... She is truly magical, thought Artemis. Perhaps her qualities are more obvious to me now that I have decided to sacrifice myself.
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Of course. Opal is toying with our emotions for her own gratification. Nothing more. She wishes to place herself in a position of power, emotionally.
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Maybe I’ll keep you.” Abbot chuckled and prodded Artemis’s back with his sword. “It’d be nice to have a pet human around. I could teach you tricks.” “I have a trick for you,” said Artemis, and he fired a single blast from the gun.
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Sounded like girls. Mixed feelings on that score. He didn't despise them with the same passion he used to. In fact, Benny suspected that there would come a time in the not-too-distant future when he might develop a mysterious interest in them.
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If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
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Trust me. I'm a genius.
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Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
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The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
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Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.
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We lost the crickets, she said. Even you can't make that sound tough. ...I am Butler, he said with a straight-face. Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.
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Onscreen, Foaly rubbed his eyelids with his index fingers. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Captain Short goes rogue once more. Hands up who's surprised. Anyone?
Eoin Colfer
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(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)
Eoin Colfer
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In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.
Eoin Colfer
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Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes. That's professor Moriarty, corrected Foaly. Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.
Eoin Colfer