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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Clever
Scared
Exactly
Anyone
Tell
Never
Would

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Orion sniffed. Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your way back. Then I can make a few pennies wth my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks for passersby. This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered jumping into the hole to get away.
Eoin Colfer
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There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony
Eoin Colfer
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Mulch was not impressed. 'I'm not impressed,' he said.
Eoin Colfer
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
Eoin Colfer
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Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four? Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. I don't think Opal bothers with laws.
Eoin Colfer
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(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.
Eoin Colfer
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...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
Eoin Colfer
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She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl
Eoin Colfer
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How was your... eh... trip? Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. Um, eventful.
Eoin Colfer
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A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
Eoin Colfer
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Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?
Eoin Colfer
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In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.
Eoin Colfer
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Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.
Eoin Colfer
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I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
Eoin Colfer
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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
Eoin Colfer
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Anything else, Butler? The cosh, sir.
Eoin Colfer
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Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.
Eoin Colfer
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I am not exuding anything, said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.
Eoin Colfer
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I have no time for babbling foolishness.” “Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling.
Eoin Colfer
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Nobody's death is impending. ...Well technically everyone's death is impending.
Eoin Colfer