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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Scared
Exactly
Anyone
Tell
Never
Would
Clever

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
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It would take less than a second for you to die. But that's quite long enough to be in mortal agony, don't you think?
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Of course I saved you, she said. I couldn't do without you. And because she was happy and flushed with magic Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.
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It was calling me, that button, he offered as his excuse. I couldn't resist. -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-
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Me, Artemis blurted. I'm the nut. Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. I'm the nut! Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
Eoin Colfer
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Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.
Eoin Colfer
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The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.
Eoin Colfer
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Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.
Eoin Colfer
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Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?
Eoin Colfer
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I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.
Eoin Colfer
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My bugs don't have bugs.
Eoin Colfer
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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
Eoin Colfer
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That was all he said, except for Aaaeerrgghhh. Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed Aaaeerrgghhh was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.
Eoin Colfer
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I have no time for babbling foolishness.” “Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling.
Eoin Colfer
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Good. Illegal is always faster.
Eoin Colfer
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Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
Eoin Colfer
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gold is power-artemis fowl I liked the artemis fowl series because its about a boy genius
Eoin Colfer
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How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
Eoin Colfer
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Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
Eoin Colfer
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Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.
Eoin Colfer