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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Exactly
Anyone
Tell
Never
Would
Clever
Scared

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony
Eoin Colfer
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Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.
Eoin Colfer
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I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
Eoin Colfer
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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
Eoin Colfer
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Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?
Eoin Colfer
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And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.
Eoin Colfer
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When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?
Eoin Colfer
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I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.
Eoin Colfer
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This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.
Eoin Colfer
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Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. Mmm, he mumbled around his tongue. Horse. Tasty Let's go, said Foaly nervously. Let's go right now.
Eoin Colfer
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Im riding a troll! i was born to do this,and steal stuff, and EAT LOADS!
Eoin Colfer
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Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of course it was a bluff and the commander was a secret fan of his, unless it was a double bluff and she really did feel antagonistic.
Eoin Colfer
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I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
Eoin Colfer
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Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.
Eoin Colfer
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If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
Eoin Colfer
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I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. I am not here. Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass! Donal let out a long suffering sigh. Eoin is being a writer. Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
Eoin Colfer
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Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four? Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. I don't think Opal bothers with laws.
Eoin Colfer
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A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
Eoin Colfer
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Who or what inspires you? I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.
Eoin Colfer
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What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
Eoin Colfer