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Trust me. I'm a genius.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Genius
Trust

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?
Eoin Colfer
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I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show.
Eoin Colfer
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I don't like lollipops.
Eoin Colfer
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I bet, said Mulch, that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn. Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer. Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
Eoin Colfer
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If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter he will pay you a decent wage.” “Will he make me bathe?” “No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” “Ah. One of those.
Eoin Colfer
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa, intoned Opal, finishing her chant. Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Eoin Colfer
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Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis Fowl will never be secondary. I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second? said Holly.
Eoin Colfer
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Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity? Artemis blinked. Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
Eoin Colfer
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Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.
Eoin Colfer
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Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
Eoin Colfer
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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
Eoin Colfer
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(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!
Eoin Colfer
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Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube? It's always cubes with you, noted Foaly, somewhat randomly. What's wrong with a nice sphere?
Eoin Colfer
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There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.
Eoin Colfer
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A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.
Eoin Colfer
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Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet.
Eoin Colfer
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Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes?
Eoin Colfer
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A fifeteen-year old, of to save the world, with faries. - Angeline Fowl
Eoin Colfer
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I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
Eoin Colfer