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I don't like lollipops.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Lollipops
Lollipop
Artemis
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More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Don’t feel bad I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.
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Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time? Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember? No. I was unconscious.
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When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?
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Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
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You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa, intoned Opal, finishing her chant. Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
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Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity? Artemis blinked. Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
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Anything else, Butler? The cosh, sir.
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Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers
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If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.
Eoin Colfer
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I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
Eoin Colfer
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I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. I am not here. Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass! Donal let out a long suffering sigh. Eoin is being a writer. Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
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The two of them went down in a heap, with not even a turkey to break their fall.
Eoin Colfer
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In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.
Eoin Colfer
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I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
Eoin Colfer
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The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
Eoin Colfer
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...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
Eoin Colfer
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A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
Eoin Colfer
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Im riding a troll! i was born to do this,and steal stuff, and EAT LOADS!
Eoin Colfer