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...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Ragged
Waiter
Hardly
Doe
Make
Apron
Aprons

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?
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Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.
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This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.
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Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.
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It was calling me, that button, he offered as his excuse. I couldn't resist. -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-
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Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
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Together we will be unstoppable.
Eoin Colfer
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There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony
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It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.
Eoin Colfer
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Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.
Eoin Colfer
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
Eoin Colfer
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Me, Artemis blurted. I'm the nut. Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. I'm the nut! Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
Eoin Colfer
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A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.
Eoin Colfer
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Onscreen, Foaly rubbed his eyelids with his index fingers. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Captain Short goes rogue once more. Hands up who's surprised. Anyone?
Eoin Colfer
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I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland. A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.
Eoin Colfer
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gold is power-artemis fowl I liked the artemis fowl series because its about a boy genius
Eoin Colfer
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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
Eoin Colfer
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I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.
Eoin Colfer
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Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.
Eoin Colfer