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(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Sandwich
Sandwiches
Attempt
Terrible
Making
Difficult
Looks
Fowl
Artemis

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube? It's always cubes with you, noted Foaly, somewhat randomly. What's wrong with a nice sphere?
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Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.
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We lost the crickets.
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Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time? Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember? No. I was unconscious.
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I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland. A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.
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Control puberty? snorted the bodyguard.If you manage that, you'll be the first.
Eoin Colfer
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Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.
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I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
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A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
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Good. Illegal is always faster.
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Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
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There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.
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Me, Artemis blurted. I'm the nut. Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. I'm the nut! Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
Eoin Colfer
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She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl
Eoin Colfer
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I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
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I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
Eoin Colfer
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The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
Eoin Colfer
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There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony
Eoin Colfer
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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.
Eoin Colfer