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(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Terrible
Making
Difficult
Looks
Fowl
Artemis
Sandwich
Sandwiches
Attempt

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.
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HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book? FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.
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I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
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(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!
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I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
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Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes. That's professor Moriarty, corrected Foaly. Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.
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...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
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What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.
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I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.
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Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly
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Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.
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Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.
Eoin Colfer
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(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.
Eoin Colfer
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If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter he will pay you a decent wage.” “Will he make me bathe?” “No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” “Ah. One of those.
Eoin Colfer
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa, intoned Opal, finishing her chant. Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Eoin Colfer
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You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue
Eoin Colfer
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(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.
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If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
Eoin Colfer
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I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis Fowl will never be secondary. I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second? said Holly.
Eoin Colfer