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They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.
Emo Philips
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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Love
Emo
Name
Names
Call
Good
Time
More quotes by Emo Philips
When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.
Emo Philips
Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.
Emo Philips
When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage.
Emo Philips
My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
Emo Philips
I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
Emo Philips
I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.
Emo Philips
The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn't I see you on television? I said, I don't know. You can't see out the other way.
Emo Philips
When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!
Emo Philips
He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
Emo Philips
If you can make just one person laugh, then you are already doing better than Tony Danza.
Emo Philips
Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.
Emo Philips
Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be.
Emo Philips
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips
I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.
Emo Philips
I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
Emo Philips
Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It's like the original violins were made in Cremona and there's never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat.
Emo Philips
People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
Emo Philips
The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.
Emo Philips
I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
Emo Philips
I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.
Emo Philips