Quote

If you're worth over $50m you should have to dress like that guy on the Monopoly box. The super-rich shouldn't get all the benefits of looking like a regular guy.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Looking
Boxes
Like
Dress
Dresses
Shouldn
Benefits
Worth
Monopoly
Rich
Regular
Guy
Super

More quotes by Emo Philips

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Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.
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I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
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If you can make just one person laugh, then you are already doing better than Tony Danza.
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I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
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There's a joke in everything, the trick is finding it. The best compliment a joke can get is what Huxley said about Darwin's theory of evolution - 'Why didn't I think of that?'
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I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.
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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
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My mom gave me one of those cloth calendars for the kitchen. It took me three hours to sew in a dental appointment.
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My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.
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I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference.
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You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
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Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.
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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
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I don't really hang out with people. I like to be by myself. In fact, I've been arrested a few times because I like to walk around at two or three in the morning, looking at shop windows. The cops take me to the station and fingerprint me. But I wouldn't call that hanging out.
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You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.
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I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!
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I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.
Emo Philips
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I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
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I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
Emo Philips
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I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.
Emo Philips