Quote

I went into the gas station, said, Fill 'er up, Harry. The guy said, Regular? I said, No, put on a gorrila suit and dance like a fairy.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Went
Gas
Guy
Suit
Like
Stations
Regular
Suits
Fairy
Fill
Station
Dance
Harry

More quotes by Emo Philips

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My girlfriend said, Emo, I'm seeing another man. I said, Well, try rubbing your eyes or something.
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My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.
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It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.
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Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
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I've always suffered from a complete inability to sense who's important.
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I grew up in an era when strange adults would grab me on the street and say: 'Don't do that.' You never see that these days. 'Hi, we took the liberty of spanking your son.' Oh thanks, my hand was getting worn.
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Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.
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I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine.
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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
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But I like to swim. At high school, I tried out for the swim team. I shaved off all my body hair, and that extra burst of speed from all the bullies shouting Kill the fairy.
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Girls throw their panties on the stage, but rarely if ever do they fit.
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Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.
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The American government is making nuclear weapons like there's no tomorrow.
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You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
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Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.
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Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.
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When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.
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The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.
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When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!
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My dad always said, If someone hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Plus that also works wonderfully as a metaphor.
Emo Philips