Quote

Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Fall
Better
Odds
Time
Joke
Love
Falling
Like
Anywhere
Jokes
Coming
Funny

More quotes by Emo Philips

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I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!
Emo Philips
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My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?'
Emo Philips
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Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.
Emo Philips
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I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.
Emo Philips
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My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.
Emo Philips
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I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.
Emo Philips
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I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
Emo Philips
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I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
Emo Philips
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I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
Emo Philips
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The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.
Emo Philips
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I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine.
Emo Philips
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My mom gave me one of those cloth calendars for the kitchen. It took me three hours to sew in a dental appointment.
Emo Philips
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I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
Emo Philips
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My parents had very strict rules for me. Rules like, I couldn't be home until a certain hour.
Emo Philips
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I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.
Emo Philips
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I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, Get off of me, you two!
Emo Philips
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People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
Emo Philips
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When I was a kid my dad would say, Emo, do you believe in the Lord? I'd say, Yes! He'd say, Then stand up and shout Hallelujah! So I would ... and I'd fall out of the roller coaster.
Emo Philips
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I grew up in an era when strange adults would grab me on the street and say: 'Don't do that.' You never see that these days. 'Hi, we took the liberty of spanking your son.' Oh thanks, my hand was getting worn.
Emo Philips
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When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.
Emo Philips