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I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Youth
Least
Presbyterian
Body
Presbyterians
Wells
Relatively
Well
Temple
Think
Managed
Thinking
Temples
Center

More quotes by Emo Philips

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When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.
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If you can make just one person laugh, then you are already doing better than Tony Danza.
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I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
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Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was around 18, I thought, 'I'll become a comedian, and then if everyone laughs at me, I'll be famous.' So I went on stage one night and, for the first time in my life, everyone stopped laughing at me.
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Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.
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When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, Emo, don't go near the cellar door! One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun.
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I don't have to tell you folks about scuba diving. So, that'll save some time.
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I learned about sex the hard way... from books.
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They have a sign at the beach, no glass bottles. I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.
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I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!
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My grandmother's brain was dead, but her heart was still beating. It was the first time we ever had a democrat in the family.
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I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.
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The American government is making nuclear weapons like there's no tomorrow.
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When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.
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I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.
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Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
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I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.
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You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.
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I wanted to get from 4th street to 8th... Then I remembered Einstein postulating that parallel lines eventually meet. They're dredging my car from Lake Michigan as we speak.
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My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
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