Quote

I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Life
Baby
Special
Times
Place
Women
Bins
Many
Digging
Heart
Garbage
Always
Saved

More quotes by Emo Philips

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I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.
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I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
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The other night, the president gave a speech. He said, children are our most prescious natural resource. I thought, let's hope it never comes to that.
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I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.
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Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.
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He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
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I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.
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Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.
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I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.
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I find you can often find humor just by turning something upside-down. Like a... small child.
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I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
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My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.
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I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
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When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.
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At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
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My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.
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I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
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I don't have to tell you folks about scuba diving. So, that'll save some time.
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My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?'
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It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.
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