Quote

I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Life
Baby
Special
Times
Place
Bins
Women
Many
Digging
Heart
Garbage
Always
Saved

More quotes by Emo Philips

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I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
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My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
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When I was a kid, my nickname was Mr. Baseball. Because of the stitches.
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My mom gave me one of those cloth calendars for the kitchen. It took me three hours to sew in a dental appointment.
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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
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I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.
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I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
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They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.
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I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.
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The other night, the president gave a speech. He said, children are our most prescious natural resource. I thought, let's hope it never comes to that.
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You should get married. When I was younger, I was into the fame and fortune, and now I realize that a loving wife and happy children - that's life's greatest consolation prize.
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.
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I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, Get off of me, you two!
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I've always suffered from a complete inability to sense who's important.
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When I was a kid my dad would say, Emo, do you believe in the Lord? I'd say, Yes! He'd say, Then stand up and shout Hallelujah! So I would ... and I'd fall out of the roller coaster.
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Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.
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I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.
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If you can make just one person laugh, then you are already doing better than Tony Danza.
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I never cheated on my wife. I took seriously those vows of celibacy.
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