Quote

Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was around 18, I thought, 'I'll become a comedian, and then if everyone laughs at me, I'll be famous.' So I went on stage one night and, for the first time in my life, everyone stopped laughing at me.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Become
Laughing
Used
Stage
Firsts
Went
Laughs
First
Growing
Comedian
Time
Everyone
Stopped
Life
Night
Famous
Around
Everywhere
Thought
Laugh

More quotes by Emo Philips

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It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.
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I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.
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When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.
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I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.
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I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.
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Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.
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I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
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I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.
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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
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I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, Get off of me, you two!
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I saw a psychologist once because I thought I had depression. It cost me $100. When I left, I realised that there's nothing he could have said that would cheer me up as much as if I found a $100 bill on my way home.
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
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Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?
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I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
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My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.
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Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It's like the original violins were made in Cremona and there's never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat.
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I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.
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When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.
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The other night, the president gave a speech. He said, children are our most prescious natural resource. I thought, let's hope it never comes to that.
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