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I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Close
Friend
Relationship
Growing
Another
Kids
Imaginary

More quotes by Emo Philips

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But I like to swim. At high school, I tried out for the swim team. I shaved off all my body hair, and that extra burst of speed from all the bullies shouting Kill the fairy.
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I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
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I learned about sex the hard way... from books.
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I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic... in morse code.
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.
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Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.
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I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
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My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.
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I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
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When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!
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My grandmother's brain was dead, but her heart was still beating. It was the first time we ever had a democrat in the family.
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He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
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Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.
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In college I was one of six males who auditioned for five male roles in a comedy play. I was the one rejected. At that moment I made up my mind never to place myself at the mercy of some pompous, goateed, black-turtleneck-shirted should I yay him or nay him? pantywaist ever again.
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If you're worth over $50m you should have to dress like that guy on the Monopoly box. The super-rich shouldn't get all the benefits of looking like a regular guy.
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Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
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I was feeling a bit down, I went to a therapist a few times, at a hundred bucks a pop. But then I realized that no therapy session would ever cheer me up half as much as if I was just strolling along and found a hundred dollar bill.
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I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference.
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I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!
Emo Philips