Quote

Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?

Emo Philips

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Period
Seven
Periods
Stay
Waiting
Long
Mad
Gun

More quotes by Emo Philips

Image
I saw a psychologist once because I thought I had depression. It cost me $100. When I left, I realised that there's nothing he could have said that would cheer me up as much as if I found a $100 bill on my way home.
Emo Philips
Image
I find you can often find humor just by turning something upside-down. Like a... small child.
Emo Philips
Image
I grew up in an era when strange adults would grab me on the street and say: 'Don't do that.' You never see that these days. 'Hi, we took the liberty of spanking your son.' Oh thanks, my hand was getting worn.
Emo Philips
Image
My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?'
Emo Philips
Image
I learned about sex the hard way... from books.
Emo Philips
Image
The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.
Emo Philips
Image
I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
Emo Philips
Image
I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
Emo Philips
Image
I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.
Emo Philips
Image
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
Emo Philips
Image
They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.
Emo Philips
Image
I started doing stand-up at the age of 20. This was back in 1976, around the time (coincidence?) that the first comedy clubs were starting. The young comedians of today gasp when I tell them how many shows I did that first year: 500. Five nights a week.
Emo Philips
Image
I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic... in morse code.
Emo Philips
Image
I never cheated on my wife. I took seriously those vows of celibacy.
Emo Philips
Image
The other night, the president gave a speech. He said, children are our most prescious natural resource. I thought, let's hope it never comes to that.
Emo Philips
Image
I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.
Emo Philips
Image
It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.
Emo Philips
Image
I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.
Emo Philips
Image
I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!
Emo Philips
Image
Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
Emo Philips