Quote

I saw a psychologist once because I thought I had depression. It cost me $100. When I left, I realised that there's nothing he could have said that would cheer me up as much as if I found a $100 bill on my way home.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Nothing
Bill
Much
Bills
Way
Saws
Would
Cost
Left
Psychologist
Found
Realised
Thought
Cheer
Home
Depression

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I learned about sex the hard way... from books.
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Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
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The other night, the president gave a speech. He said, children are our most prescious natural resource. I thought, let's hope it never comes to that.
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Girls throw their panties on the stage, but rarely if ever do they fit.
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