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They have a sign at the beach, no glass bottles. I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.
Emo Philips
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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Glasses
Sign
Feel
Feels
Particles
Think
Bottles
Thinking
Glass
Like
Sand
Beach
More quotes by Emo Philips
People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
Emo Philips
I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
Emo Philips
I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
Emo Philips
I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.
Emo Philips
I never cheated on my wife. I took seriously those vows of celibacy.
Emo Philips
The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn't I see you on television? I said, I don't know. You can't see out the other way.
Emo Philips
I've always suffered from a complete inability to sense who's important.
Emo Philips
Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.
Emo Philips
Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.
Emo Philips
I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
Emo Philips
I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.
Emo Philips
I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.
Emo Philips
I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.
Emo Philips
I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
Emo Philips
Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.
Emo Philips
I find you can often find humor just by turning something upside-down. Like a... small child.
Emo Philips
I asked the head musician if I could go onstage during the next break and he said sure. I got two laughs in twenty minutes, and walked out feeling more elated than I had ever felt in my entire life. The glory of that triumph contented me for two full years.
Emo Philips
You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
Emo Philips
They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.
Emo Philips
I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.
Emo Philips
