Quote

It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Like
Cat
Jokes
Amazing
Metaphorically
Wife
Upside
Find
Humour
Might
Joke
Come
Literally
Things
Turning

More quotes by Emo Philips

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My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
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I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
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I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic... in morse code.
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You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
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I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
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I never cheated on my wife. I took seriously those vows of celibacy.
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Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.
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I went into the gas station, said, Fill 'er up, Harry. The guy said, Regular? I said, No, put on a gorrila suit and dance like a fairy.
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I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
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I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.
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Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.
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Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.
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I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.
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I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
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I saw a psychologist once because I thought I had depression. It cost me $100. When I left, I realised that there's nothing he could have said that would cheer me up as much as if I found a $100 bill on my way home.
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I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
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The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn't I see you on television? I said, I don't know. You can't see out the other way.
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Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get there. Not one comedian in the world ever really knows.
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There's a joke in everything, the trick is finding it. The best compliment a joke can get is what Huxley said about Darwin's theory of evolution - 'Why didn't I think of that?'
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They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.
Emo Philips