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My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Funny
Excited
Without
Street
Even
Couldn
Streets
Bets
Parents
Placing
Humor
Protective
Parent
Cross
Getting
Crosses

More quotes by Emo Philips

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Girls throw their panties on the stage, but rarely if ever do they fit.
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You should get married. When I was younger, I was into the fame and fortune, and now I realize that a loving wife and happy children - that's life's greatest consolation prize.
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I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
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They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.
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I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.
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If you can make just one person laugh, then you are already doing better than Tony Danza.
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I pray a simple prayer every morning. It's an ecumenical prayer. Whether you're Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or Hindu, I think it speaks to the heart of every faith. It goes “Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.”
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.
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I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.
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The American government is making nuclear weapons like there's no tomorrow.
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The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.
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The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.
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I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
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Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.
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A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.
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In college I was one of six males who auditioned for five male roles in a comedy play. I was the one rejected. At that moment I made up my mind never to place myself at the mercy of some pompous, goateed, black-turtleneck-shirted should I yay him or nay him? pantywaist ever again.
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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
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I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.
Emo Philips
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I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!
Emo Philips