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Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Stand-Up Comedy
Chicago
Illinois
Devil
Humor
Funny
Volleyball
Ambiguity

More quotes by Emo Philips

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I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.
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I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.
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When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage.
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I don't have to tell you folks about scuba diving. So, that'll save some time.
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Anger punishes the bearer's heart. Who remains angry suffers most. For many, the search for perfection virtually guarantees it will be found, and disregarded in order to continue the search. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
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My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.
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When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.
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I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
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I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.
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Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.
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Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?
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There's a joke in everything, the trick is finding it. The best compliment a joke can get is what Huxley said about Darwin's theory of evolution - 'Why didn't I think of that?'
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I wanted to get from 4th street to 8th... Then I remembered Einstein postulating that parallel lines eventually meet. They're dredging my car from Lake Michigan as we speak.
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People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
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Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It's like the original violins were made in Cremona and there's never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat.
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I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
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Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.
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They have a sign at the beach, no glass bottles. I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.
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When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!
Emo Philips