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If killing yourself is not an option anymore, you have to sink into the darkness instead, and make something out of it.

Emma Forrest

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Emma Forrest
Age: 48
Born: 1976
Born: December 26
Film Director
Journalist
Novelist
Screenwriter
Writer
London
England
Darkness
Instead
Something
Make
Sink
Option
Killing
Anymore

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At least you know where you are with blood. At least other people can see it.
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What people don't understand when you've already been a suicide and pulled through is that after the sadness comes fear: Where is my mind going with this? I don't want to die. I do not want to die. When you don't have so much control over your own thoughts, over the myriad voices in your head, you don't know where they could go.
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I didn't know there was something really wrong, because everyone was crazy. It's just that everyone else was still functional. I didn't realize that I was any worse off.
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Of course he freaked me out. Of course it's nothing to do with me. But none of that matters. He loved me and now he doesn't. I was everything to him and now I am nothing.
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I think that's the function of a lot of psychiatrists and therapists, is keeping people afloat just long enough for them to get older.
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You’re like Marilyn Monroe,’ Ken tells me, which I take as a compliment and say a nervous “Thank You”. Interrupting, he adds, ‘You’re all velvet and Velcro. Men want you because you’re sexy and broken and when it gets too rough they can say “Hey! This toy is broken!” and toss you aside without feeling bad.
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I do think everything that happens in American pop culture sort of prescribes for England and does end up happening there six months later, maybe a year.
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Now that he's gone, I feel like I'm a senior citizen who gave away her life savings over the phone. And this is the crux: I never in my life believed in someone as much as I believed in him. The shame is overwhelming.
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Write a page every single day, even if what you put on the page that day is no good - it's the only way to get better.
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There is that doll dress-up quality of adorable teenage girl writer, and I never felt either as adorable as I was supposed to be, or as dark as the rumors, you know, She must have slept with the editor, and I was like, Oh my god, I'm still a virgin. It was very strange.
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The truth is I have had, for whatever reason, several movie-star boyfriends.
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It's all in her walk, a cartoon swagger. Part Jayne Mansfield, part Muhammad Ali. Men never know if it's an invitation upstairs or an invitation outside.
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I would say at the moment the only person who could have played me this past year would have to be Angelina Jolie.
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Yes, I have patterns of love addiction. But I'm a woman. Of course I do.
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Jeff Bridges says that the reason he's one of the few stars in Hollywood whose made his marriage last for decades is that every time they think there's no more doors left to walk through in the room, they just keep looking and keep looking until they find one.
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I think a neurotic learns from their mistakes. A psychotic does not.
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I finally accept that not only do I not understand the death of my relationship, but I do not need to. These men were good and kind to me, they loved me and I loved them back and the shock at the finish holds no wisdom. The revelation is not that I lost them, but that I had them.
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Cyndi Lauper was hilarious and generous, someone I'd loved from childhood who didn't disappoint.
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It's as if he can no longer acknowledge the love he felt or the pain I am in. I have been dismissed. I don't think I was smarter or as beautiful as the other girls he did this to. It's just that I was me. It was all I had.
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Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn't, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay.
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