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And then there is our personal history. Memories only we share. Things not another living soul would understand.

Emily Giffin

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Emily Giffin
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 20
Author
Lawyer
Novelist
Baltimore
Maryland
Emily Fisk Giffin
Share
Understand
Living
History
Another
Soul
Things
Personal
Would
Memories

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I think that we have to consciously be aware that every moment we're in, every different stage in our lives, we can control.
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Despite the fact that I have no regrets about how things turned out in my life, I still can't help wanting to understand my intense relationship with Leo, as well as that turbulent time between adolescence and adulthood when everything feels raw and invigorating and scary-and why those feelings are all coming back to me now.
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I have always been drawn to coming-of-age stories and books and movies featuring compelling young characters.
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We both have a lot of growing-up to do... A lot of the world to see & figure out on our own. -- Leo
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No scratch the word career. Careers are people who wish to advance. I only want to survive, draw a paycheck. This is merely a job. I can take or leave this place. I start to imagine quitting and following my yet-to-be-determined passion.
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Don't you wish we could pick the people we love? Yeah, I say. Or just make the people we love want the same things we want.
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Sorrow comes with so many defense mechanisms. You have your shock, your denial, your getting wasted, your cracking jokes, and your religion. You also have the old standby catchall—the blind belief in fate, the whole things happening for a reason drill.
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Throughout the ordeal, I learned that getting mad was easier than being sad. Anger was something I could control. I could settle into an easy rhythm of blame and hate. Focus my energy on something than the ache in my heart.
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Looking back, I question whether I really loved Nate, or just the security of our relationship. I wonder if my feelings for him didn’t have a lot to do with hating my job. From the bar exam through that first hellish year as an associate, Nate was my escape. And sometimes that can feel an awful lot like love.
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Life is about the gray areas. Things are seldom black and white, even when we wish they were and think they should be, and I like exploring this nuanced terrain.
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I'm going to keep seeing him as much as I can. We'll see what happens, I say, realizing that just seeing what happens is my version of going for it.
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You can love someone you mistrust.
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As everyone applauds and sips champagne, I smile back at Rachel, thinking she got it just right. Love and friendship. They are what makes us who we are and what can change us, if we let them.
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I wondered why I was so startled by the encounter when there was something that seemed utterly inevitable about the moment. Not in any grand, destined sense just in the quiet, stubborn way that unfinished business has of imposing its will on the unwilling.
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It's amazing to me how few guys know their friends' birthdays.
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I think of how life takes unexpected twists and turns, sometimes through sheer happenstance, sometimes through calculated decisions. In the end, it can all be called fate, but to me, it is more a matter of faith.
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I've always loved sister stories in fiction, from the time I was little, reading about Beezus and Ramona. I've always wanted to write a sister story.
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Then he asks if he can kiss me. It is a question I don’t usually like. Just do it, I always think.
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The world is not that black and white, Rachel. There are no moral absolutes. It is complex.
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Love is seldom—almost never—an even proposition. Someone always loves more.
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