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He threw in the towel before we were tested. Maybe because he didn't want to be tested. Maybe because he assumed we would fail. Maybe because, at the time, he just didn't love me enough.
Emily Giffin
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Emily Giffin
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 20
Author
Lawyer
Novelist
Baltimore
Maryland
Emily Fisk Giffin
Enough
Towels
Would
Threw
Time
Assumed
Love
Tested
Fail
Failing
Maybe
Didn
Towel
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It's amazing to me how few guys know their friends' birthdays.
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In my stories, I think, as I've gotten older, the characters have become stronger and more independent, and more capable of making unconventional decisions.
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Maybe the thing to do after you roll the dice-and lose-is simply pick them up and roll them again.
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Although I'm sure there are plenty of tall, gorgeous, life-of-the-party guys who are also true to their wives, I happen to believe that a disproportionate number of them are cheaters.
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I wondered why I was so startled by the encounter when there was something that seemed utterly inevitable about the moment. Not in any grand, destined sense just in the quiet, stubborn way that unfinished business has of imposing its will on the unwilling.
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Did she ever regret her choices? Were her decisions more clear-cut than mine - or are there always shades of gray whe it comes to matters of the heart?
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Sure, we were friends who exchanged soulful glances, friends who slept in a bed filled with sexual tension, friends who found any excuse to touch, but I worried that we'd never take that perilous leap of faith toward becoming a real couple, a permanent team.
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I still think I love him more. It's one of those things you never know for certain because there's no way to enter all the relationship data in a computer and have it spit out a definitive answer. You can't quantify love, and if you try, you wind up focusing on misleading factors.
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How different this moment feels, for so many reasons. I tell myself that no two loves are identical - but that I don't have to compare anymore.
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And without Dex in my life, I like to think I could have somehow found contentment. But the truth is, I feel freer with Dex than I ever did when I was single. I feel more myself with him than without. Maybe true love does that
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We are in love and meant to be together.
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Looking back, I question whether I really loved Nate, or just the security of our relationship. I wonder if my feelings for him didn’t have a lot to do with hating my job. From the bar exam through that first hellish year as an associate, Nate was my escape. And sometimes that can feel an awful lot like love.
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You can't quantify love, and if you try, you can wind up focusing on misleading factors.
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It's a funny thing - when I'm crazed with work, spending time with my children relaxes me. Yet, at the end of a long weekend with them, the very thing I need to relax is a little work and time away from them!
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Sorrow comes with so many defense mechanisms. You have your shock, your denial, your getting wasted, your cracking jokes, and your religion. You also have the old standby catchall—the blind belief in fate, the whole things happening for a reason drill.
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And then there is our personal history. Memories only we share. Things not another living soul would understand.
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I think that we have to consciously be aware that every moment we're in, every different stage in our lives, we can control.
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One way isn't better than the other they're just different.
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For true downtime, I enjoy going for light runs, having drinks with friends and going to the movies with my husband.
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