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Not even Carol knows firsthand how it feels to be hurt in such a way by someone who's supposed to protect you

Ellen Hopkins

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Ellen Hopkins
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: March 26
Novelist
Writer
Long Beach
California
Ellen Louise Hopkins
Protect
Hurt
Someone
Feels
Even
Carol
Way
Firsthand
Carols
Supposed

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She is angle. I am curve. Together, we are geometric sculpture, and we make perfect sense.
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It's probably weird to think about an addiction like it's a sentient being, but that's how it feels. Like it's something living inside you. Something you can't get rid of because killing it means killing you.
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God i've missed you. I can't wait to give you your present. He kisses me hotter this time, and beneath me, through his denim and mine. I can feel the promise of his Christmas gift soon to come.
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How can I explain purposely setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? Was the fun in the fall?
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Some secrets can't be kept too long. No matter how hard you try to hide them, sooner or later they scurry out from your cupboards, cockroaches on the run.
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Falling in love with someone is the surest highway to hurt that I know. When the door to love opens, the window to control closes.
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Addiction is rarely conquered alone.
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She's no longer afraid to die. What she's afraid of is living, accepting the status quo.
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I am different. And I don't understand exactly how. And I don't understand just why.
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I feel like a goddess, jailed in her Olympus. Little wonder how the gods toyed with humans. Toyed with women, to watch them squirm, pollinate the seeds of despair toyed with men, to satiate their Seven Deadly Sins.
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Something stirred beneath my skin, some being inside I'd only suspected existed, demon or angel, I couldn't say.
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THE BAD THING ABOUT FEAR Is it requires a reaction. Some hide. Some cry. But, like a dog condemned to a walled yard with no hope of escape or affection, some learn to bite.
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Alone everything changes. Some might call it distorted reality but it's exactly the place I need to be.
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I don't love him, & he definitely doesn't love me. Still, he semi-fills a gaping black hole inside me. That place wants love, maybe even needs love, but love is something Im pretty sure doesn't exist.
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The only thing about myself I know for sure is that I don't know anything.
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Religion is for followers... Followers and puppets.
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Words have power. The power to soothe. The power to skewer someone through the heart. The power to render someone speechless.
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Nonfiction speaks to the head. Fiction speaks to the heart. Poetry speaks to the soul. It's the essence of beauty. The essence of pain. It pleases the eye and the ear.
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Eventually, it becomes a matter of scale. When the good outweighs the bad, you stay. When the bad is the only thing you notice anymore, you think about your future, or what's left of it, consider options.
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Girls are impossible to satisfy. Not every girl. Not me. I'd be happy if he'd just like me a little.
Ellen Hopkins