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Have you ever had so much to say that your mouth closed up so tight, struggling to harness the nuclear force coalescing within your words? -346

Ellen Hopkins

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Ellen Hopkins
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: March 26
Novelist
Writer
Long Beach
California
Ellen Louise Hopkins
Much
Mouth
Mouths
Nuclear
Struggle
Coalescing
Within
Harness
Words
Tight
Force
Struggling
Ever
Closed

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Would I drown saving him?
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I nod, because I do understand. I'm just not sure how to go about divorcing myself from the evil I've already accepted.
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This time when we kiss, I feel it in the pit of my stomach, I feel it in my heart. And I realize love isn't about sex. It's about connection.
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No way to get away. No way to get away. Little change to sneak away... insanity.
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I want to know what it means to be in love. But in my dictionary 'in love' is indefinable.
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Grown up? Me? I suppose I have. Killing things, and almost killing myself, must have changed me some, after all.
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Paradise A concept embraced by almost every culture. A land of peace and harmony. Some say it doesn't belong to the earth, that there is no Shangri-la, no utopian wilderness for the living.
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Religion is for followers... Followers and puppets.
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That's what I'll be. A silhouette, rarely seen, and yet believed in.
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I tattered their wings and tore off their legs, joint by joint, watched them crawl in circles, like little lost infants, untill they decide to die.
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Always before, I just said no, left it solidly there. I waver now. I want to share everything with him. Want to know what he knows, feel what he feels, share the same space he's in.
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Love means holding on to someone just as hard as you can because if you don't, one blink and they might disappear...forever.
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But more importantly, you are a gift, to all who know you, whether or not they realize it. If they don't, they are blind. You have a special place in this world. All you hvae to do is find it.
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Is it wrong to leave relative security in favor of unknown risk at the side of someone you love?
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And almost instantly, Daddy made everything seem just fine. Even when it wasn't.
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I was about six years old, still Daddy's little girl, even though Daddy couldn't care less about me. How could I expect any man every would?
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I haven't cried since Mom died. I mean, after something like that, what's left to cry about, right? But I let myself cry now. Loss is loss. Doesn't take death to create it. (266)
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She's no longer afraid to die. What she's afraid of is living, accepting the status quo.
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Hot flush, raging bluch. Ice flash, instant crash.
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I write poetry anyway and have for years and years. For me, putting fiction and poetry together is like the best of both worlds.
Ellen Hopkins