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And almost instantly, Daddy made everything seem just fine. Even when it wasn't.

Ellen Hopkins

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Ellen Hopkins
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: March 26
Novelist
Writer
Long Beach
California
Ellen Louise Hopkins
Almost
Seems
Everything
Even
Instantly
Made
Daddy
Seem
Fine
Wasn

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Perfect? How can you define a word without concrete meaning?
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Would I drown saving him?
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THE BAD THING ABOUT FEAR Is it requires a reaction. Some hide. Some cry. But, like a dog condemned to a walled yard with no hope of escape or affection, some learn to bite.
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There will never be color blindness in a culture of fear.
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This time when we kiss, I feel it in the pit of my stomach, I feel it in my heart. And I realize love isn't about sex. It's about connection.
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What's the point of being a hero when everyone thinks you're a villain?
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Always before, I just said no, left it solidly there. I waver now. I want to share everything with him. Want to know what he knows, feel what he feels, share the same space he's in.
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But then, my entire life is bullshit. The best things in it have vanished, ghosts. Ghosts I'll admit I created.
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When all choice is taken from you, life becomes a game of survival.
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I want to open myself, let him inside. But how do I give what has already been taken?
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It's just so hard to feel good, you know? I do know. And more than that, it's just so incredibly hard to feel. (54)
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Eventually, it becomes a matter of scale. When the good outweighs the bad, you stay. When the bad is the only thing you notice anymore, you think about your future, or what's left of it, consider options.
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When you've only got one little shimmer of sunshine, you capture it best you can.
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I don't love him, & he definitely doesn't love me. Still, he semi-fills a gaping black hole inside me. That place wants love, maybe even needs love, but love is something Im pretty sure doesn't exist.
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The wind kicks in stronger, branches clatter. Or maybe skeletons. Bones of abandonment. Ghosts that will never be.
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Sometimes the little things in life mean the most.
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empty and closed, hovering in some frozen netherworld neither sun nor rain could thaw.
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A best friend is your voice when you can't find it.
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Your hurt swallows ine, like space swallows time, and the two intertwine. We tangle together.
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