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Forgiveness isn’t my best thing. Easier staying pissed. But I’m tired of being pissed all the time. Tired of feeling hurt by stuff that can never be fixed because it is an indelible part of the past.

Ellen Hopkins

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Ellen Hopkins
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: March 26
Novelist
Writer
Long Beach
California
Ellen Louise Hopkins
Past
Forgiveness
Part
Fixed
Best
Tired
Thing
Easier
Never
Hurt
Indelible
Time
Feeling
Pissed
Stuff
Feelings
Staying

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The truth is, I've always been afraid of letting anyone get too close. I built a wall around me, a barricade to hide behind those few times someone wanted entry to my heart.
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You gotta be crazy to open your windows, invite the demons in.
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I write poetry anyway and have for years and years. For me, putting fiction and poetry together is like the best of both worlds.
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That's what I'll be. A silhouette, rarely seen, and yet believed in.
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he sucked the nectar from her heart like a famished butterfly.
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It's probably weird to think about an addiction like it's a sentient being, but that's how it feels. Like it's something living inside you. Something you can't get rid of because killing it means killing you.
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Words have power. The power to soothe. The power to skewer someone through the heart. The power to render someone speechless.
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Happiness, you see, its just an illusion of Fate, a heavenly sleight of hand designed to make you believe in fairy tales. But there's no happily ever after. You'll only find happy endings in books. Some books.
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As the old saying goes, sometimes loving someone means letting them go.
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Whatever has happened in someone's past, the future is theirs to shape. The first step is to find a way out.
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It's just so hard to feel good, you know?
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You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them.
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Even without them touching me, I feel dirty about what I do. Alex does even filthier things but says it all washes off with soap. I don’t believe that. I think it all leaves stains. Indelible stains.
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When you love someone, you don't want to hurt them, even if they deserve to be hurt. When you love someone, you want to hurt them, even when they don't deserve to be hurt.
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And now life has become the future. Every moment of your life is lived for the future-you go to high school so you can go to college so you can get a good job so you can get nice house.
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Now that I have opened that bottle of memories they're pouring out like wine, crimson and bittersweet.
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Must be nice to have that kind of unshakable belief in a merciful higher power.
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Nonfiction speaks to the head. Fiction speaks to the heart. Poetry speaks to the soul. It's the essence of beauty. The essence of pain. It pleases the eye and the ear.
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Taking no chances means wasting your dreams.
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How can I explain purposely setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? Was the fun in the fall?
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