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I don't love him, & he definitely doesn't love me. Still, he semi-fills a gaping black hole inside me. That place wants love, maybe even needs love, but love is something Im pretty sure doesn't exist.

Ellen Hopkins

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Ellen Hopkins
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: March 26
Novelist
Writer
Long Beach
California
Ellen Louise Hopkins
Still
Wants
Gaping
Needs
Pretty
Semi
Even
Maybe
Fills
Something
Sure
Hole
Love
Black
Holes
Doesn
Definitely
Place
Exist
Stills
Inside

More quotes by Ellen Hopkins

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Many readers share their stories with me and if one speaks to me (or if the same theme keeps coming at me), I will research it and decide if it would make a good book. But, straight down to it, people inspire me.
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Eventually, it becomes a matter of scale. When the good outweighs the bad, you stay. When the bad is the only thing you notice anymore, you think about your future, or what's left of it, consider options.
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He has built a pedestal for her so tall that she is afraid to be lifted atop it, because to fall would mean certain death. But oh, she would rise far, far beyond fear and be held by arms so strong, and love so pure, that falling would not be an option.
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But then, my entire life is bullshit. The best things in it have vanished, ghosts. Ghosts I'll admit I created.
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I am different. And I don't understand exactly how. And I don't understand just why.
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Perfect? How can you define a word without concrete meaning?
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THE BAD THING ABOUT FEAR Is it requires a reaction. Some hide. Some cry. But, like a dog condemned to a walled yard with no hope of escape or affection, some learn to bite.
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That's what I'll be. A silhouette, rarely seen, and yet believed in.
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Have you ever once in your life reached out to touch infinity?
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It wasn't my first kiss, maybe it wasn't my best kiss, but it was pretty fine, and the fact that he had asked will forever make that kiss stand out in my mind, touch my heart, make me remember a kiss so tender it made me cry.
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Just keep on shining that light. The rest will take care of itself.
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I need to capture my sprite with trembling hands. Except I could crush her. Wonder how many small things of beauty - flowers, seashells, dragonflies - have met such a demise. Wonder how much fragile love has collapsed beneath the weight of confession.
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Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling. Sometimes it's hard to turn it back on again.
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I really have to wonder who or what made Daddy become this way. Babies aren't born cruel or filled with sick desire. Evil is not intrinsic. It's fashioned.
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Too much to take in, too much to purge. Why must every memory, once sweet, dead end in such ugliness?
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I tattered their wings and tore off their legs, joint by joint, watched them crawl in circles, like little lost infants, untill they decide to die.
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I haven't cried since Mom died. I mean, after something like that, what's left to cry about, right? But I let myself cry now. Loss is loss. Doesn't take death to create it. (266)
Ellen Hopkins
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I know I can't stay here forever
Ellen Hopkins
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But, though I was very much in lust with him, I knew from the start we were nothing like forever. Maybe because forever is such a scary place.
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I want to open myself, let him inside. But how do I give what has already been taken?
Ellen Hopkins