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i expected demands. he gifted me with tenderness. i expected ego. he let me experiment. i expected disrespect. he called me beautiful. i expected him to expect perfection. he taught me all i needed to know.

Ellen Hopkins

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Ellen Hopkins
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: March 26
Novelist
Writer
Long Beach
California
Ellen Louise Hopkins
Demand
Gifted
Needed
Experiment
Demands
Taught
Ego
Called
Experiments
Beautiful
Expected
Perfection
Disrespect
Expect
Tenderness

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I want to open myself, let him inside. But how do I give what has already been taken?
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Always before, I just said no, left it solidly there. I waver now. I want to share everything with him. Want to know what he knows, feel what he feels, share the same space he's in.
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Believe it or not, I sold my first novel, Crank, with only seventy-five pages complete. It was in verse then, and it was hard-hitting then.
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I need to capture my sprite with trembling hands. Except I could crush her. Wonder how many small things of beauty - flowers, seashells, dragonflies - have met such a demise. Wonder how much fragile love has collapsed beneath the weight of confession.
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Red and raw like my brain, unable to shut down, thoughts crashing like electrons orbiting a nucleus of deuling emotions.
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Happiness, you see, its just an illusion of Fate, a heavenly sleight of hand designed to make you believe in fairy tales. But there's no happily ever after. You'll only find happy endings in books. Some books.
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It's just so hard to feel good, you know?
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You were a summer gift, one I'll always treasure. You were a dream I never wanted to wake up from. You opened my eyes to things I'll never really see. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me.
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If I come back to you now, can we be what we were before life’s uncertain rhythms tore us so far apart? If I return today, will your arms gather me in, or will I be wrenched away, snatched by riptide I have no power to resist? If I find my way to you, one man standing in a crowd, will I even know who you are?
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She is angle. I am curve. Together, we are geometric sculpture, and we make perfect sense.
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Is it wrong to leave relative security in favor of unknown risk at the side of someone you love?
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The problem with resolutions is they're only as solid as the person making them.
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Forever has no meaning when you're living in the moment. I wasn't ready for that moment to end.
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Cleansed, chlorinated to the point of chemical peel, sore muscles relieved, I felt almost human again. Tiptoe to my room, up a darkened hall, past closed doors, I wondered if I'd ever feel completely human again.
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Red and raw like my heart, pried from your's, the two beating, no longer together, but a thousand miles between them when only yesterday they thumped in unison.
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Would I drown saving him?
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How can I explain purposely setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? Was the fun in the fall?
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you fly until you crash two days two nights no sleep, no food, come down off the monster YOU CRASH REAL HARD
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You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them.
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