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Who needs sleep? I laugh in the face of sleep!
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Needs
Laugh
Laughing
Sleep
Face
Faces
More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
Ellen DeGeneres
I think furniture is art. I don't think art is just for your walls - I think everything that someone has made is a piece of art.
Ellen DeGeneres
I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don't harbour resentment.
Ellen DeGeneres
I don't know who had the bright idea of teaching pneumonia how to walk, but I'd like to find that dunderhead before he decides he wants to teach it how to drive.
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer out there.
Ellen DeGeneres
Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.
Ellen DeGeneres
Honestly, we'd probably be great parents. But it's a human being, and unless you think you have excellent skills and have a drive or yearning in you to do that, the amount of work that that is and responsibility - I wouldn't want to screw them up! We love our animals.
Ellen DeGeneres
What would bug the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews?
Ellen DeGeneres
Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
Ellen DeGeneres
Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.
Ellen DeGeneres
I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.
Ellen DeGeneres
I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
Ellen DeGeneres
Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!
Ellen DeGeneres
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
Ellen DeGeneres
I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I'm a human trying to make it through in this world.
Ellen DeGeneres
No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
Ellen DeGeneres
Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dialogue of Your Subconscious Mind.' I'd never been to anything like it before, and all my friends were taking bets on how long I'd last with no TV, no radio, no phone. But for me that was the beginning of paying attention to all the little things.
Ellen DeGeneres
What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.
Ellen DeGeneres
I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
Ellen DeGeneres
The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said God Bless you I said, I didn't sneeze She looked deep into my eyes and said, You will, eventually. And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
Ellen DeGeneres
