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My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Died
Humor
Funny
Years
Kidding
Dog
More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting.
Ellen DeGeneres
Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I'm openly gay.
Ellen DeGeneres
We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we're cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
Ellen DeGeneres
Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married.
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm sure men have their own ways of trying to demean one another, but women can be very gossipy and judgmental, and that doesn't help.
Ellen DeGeneres
And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad.
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it's clear. It's Jared Leto. I mean, he's the prettiest. Boy is he pretty
Ellen DeGeneres
We stock up on popcorn and candy like we're crossing the Sierras, don't we? I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Is that the largest popcorn you've got there, that bucket? You don't have a barrel or anything like that? Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? - Oh, and a Diet Coke.
Ellen DeGeneres
Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.
Ellen DeGeneres
Honestly, we'd probably be great parents. But it's a human being, and unless you think you have excellent skills and have a drive or yearning in you to do that, the amount of work that that is and responsibility - I wouldn't want to screw them up! We love our animals.
Ellen DeGeneres
What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore parachute pants for a long, long time, and I'm doin' okay.
Ellen DeGeneres
We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy.
Ellen DeGeneres
For someone like me, who loves to sweat and push herself, it's a challenge to slow down, to sit, to breathe and hold poses.
Ellen DeGeneres
What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.
Ellen DeGeneres
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
Ellen DeGeneres
People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house.
Ellen DeGeneres
You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
Ellen DeGeneres
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
Ellen DeGeneres
My name is Ellen and I'm a vegetarian. Just to add another label to me: I am a lesbian, aquarian and vegetarian. I've said it.
Ellen DeGeneres
I know there's always going to be feedback no matter what the subject. I am shocked by somebody commenting on my shoes or my clothes. Everyone has an opinion, everyone is logging about everything and has an opinion. So I can't possibly pay attention to that.
Ellen DeGeneres
