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I don't know who had the bright idea of teaching pneumonia how to walk, but I'd like to find that dunderhead before he decides he wants to teach it how to drive.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Walk
Walks
Wants
Teach
Pneumonia
Idea
Decides
Ideas
Bright
Find
Drive
Like
Teaching
More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person.
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Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.
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The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.
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I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
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I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
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You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
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My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
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But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
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The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
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You know, radio DJ's must really love to talk to theirselves. Especially when they have the graveyard shift. 'Hey this is Ellen with 89.1. It is currently three in the morning. There are few cars on the road. And it your still listening heres a little music to get you to dance.
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I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
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I think furniture is art. I don't think art is just for your walls - I think everything that someone has made is a piece of art.
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I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
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I admire people who know they can't sing. There are so many people out there who can't sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
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I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to laugh and to feel positive, if you are laughing at something positive. But if you are laughing at mean jokes then it's a wash.
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Who needs sleep? I laugh in the face of sleep!
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It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting.
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Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
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The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes. It’s a vicious cycle, and after you go around and around a bunch of times you end up believing that all vegans only eat cabbage and all gay people love musicals.
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