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What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Hanging
Letter
Letters
Funny
Dude
More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
It's such an honor to receive the Mark Twain Prize. To get the same award that has been given to people like Bill Cosby, Tina Fey and Will Ferrell, it really makes me wonder… why didn't I get this sooner?
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-feelings honest. I'm sure if I lied about anything, it would have been silly, but I haven't retained that information.
Ellen DeGeneres
Meditation is helping me learn to sit still. Twenty minutes of meditation in the morning is a nice way to start my day. If you can actually sit still and really get to that place of silence, you realize what's important and what's not important. Little things don't usually get to me anymore.
Ellen DeGeneres
Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I'd like to talk about it, because my haters are my motivators.
Ellen DeGeneres
You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm sure men have their own ways of trying to demean one another, but women can be very gossipy and judgmental, and that doesn't help.
Ellen DeGeneres
We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.
Ellen DeGeneres
Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
Ellen DeGeneres
What would bug the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews?
Ellen DeGeneres
The legend goes that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I was thinking... that must be hard to put all the tiny seatbelts on all the snakes.
Ellen DeGeneres
I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
Ellen DeGeneres
It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.
Ellen DeGeneres
I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's called marriage. I don't care if it's called, you know, domestic partnership. I don't care what it's called.
Ellen DeGeneres
The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.
Ellen DeGeneres
Though you feel you're not where you're suppose to be, you shouldn't worry because that next turn that you take, it will lead you to where you wanna go.
Ellen DeGeneres
I know there's always going to be feedback no matter what the subject. I am shocked by somebody commenting on my shoes or my clothes. Everyone has an opinion, everyone is logging about everything and has an opinion. So I can't possibly pay attention to that.
Ellen DeGeneres
I won't have a hard time being brutally honest. But I won't be mean. You don't have to be mean to be honest.
Ellen DeGeneres
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.
Ellen DeGeneres
That woman in the shampoo commercial - she's happy. She's... she's too happy.
Ellen DeGeneres
When life gives you lemons....they could really be oranges.
Ellen DeGeneres
