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I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Feel
Hangover
Feels
Mystery
Like
Humor
Memories
Comedy
Happy
Funny
Without
Bruises
More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
I get my dance moves from just moving around and listening to music and not really worrying about if it's perfect or not.
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Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.
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The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said God Bless you I said, I didn't sneeze She looked deep into my eyes and said, You will, eventually. And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
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The legend goes that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I was thinking... that must be hard to put all the tiny seatbelts on all the snakes.
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Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.
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I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and listen with them. Have you noticed that? When it’s dark and you can’t see a thing, you open your eyes really wide and glance back and force, like your eyes become your ears?
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Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
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I've learned 2 things about tv. It's always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
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Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most
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You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
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My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and that there's a higher power and an intelligence that's bigger than us and that we can rely on. It's not just us, thinking we are the ones in control of everything. That idea gives me support.
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People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going.
Ellen DeGeneres
You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet.
Ellen DeGeneres
I won't have a hard time being brutally honest. But I won't be mean. You don't have to be mean to be honest.
Ellen DeGeneres
If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.
Ellen DeGeneres
You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
Ellen DeGeneres
I talked to Beyonce and she wants to learn how to speak Arabic and she wants to jump out of an airplane. I don't want to do that. I just don't want to wash my hair every day.
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Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
Ellen DeGeneres
I like sitting at outdoor restaurants it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I'm about to take a bite of something.
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I cannot believe they haven't yet come up with a better screening process than the mammogram. If a man had to put his special parts inside a clamp to test him for anything, I think they would come up with a new plan before the doctor finished saying, Put that thing there so I can crush it.
Ellen DeGeneres
