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I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Like
Humor
Memories
Comedy
Happy
Funny
Without
Bruises
Feel
Hangover
Feels
Mystery
More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
Ellen DeGeneres
But I do believe that's when you do your soul-searching. I think when you have these trials that life gives you, it is an opportunity to find out who you are. Not just who you are when everything's great, but who are you when everything is taken away from you and you have nothing.
Ellen DeGeneres
I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don't know how it would be different because I've never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman's or Sharon Stone's. I think everybody's fame is different.
Ellen DeGeneres
When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it's hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn't feel like me.
Ellen DeGeneres
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
Ellen DeGeneres
What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.
Ellen DeGeneres
And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad.
Ellen DeGeneres
The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.
Ellen DeGeneres
We stock up on popcorn and candy like we're crossing the Sierras, don't we? I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Is that the largest popcorn you've got there, that bucket? You don't have a barrel or anything like that? Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? - Oh, and a Diet Coke.
Ellen DeGeneres
There's nothing I know for sure, because I know for sure that things change.
Ellen DeGeneres
I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
Ellen DeGeneres
There are people who study germs. I believe they are called Germans
Ellen DeGeneres
I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I'm a human trying to make it through in this world.
Ellen DeGeneres
I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.
Ellen DeGeneres
You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.
Ellen DeGeneres
I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who's making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?
Ellen DeGeneres
It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.
Ellen DeGeneres
You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
Ellen DeGeneres
That woman in the shampoo commercial - she's happy. She's... she's too happy.
Ellen DeGeneres
It's nice when people love you....for you.
Ellen DeGeneres