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Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic. Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here helicoptered in!?
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Funny
Excuses
Hate
Traffic
Work
Excuse
Always
Sorry
Think
Late
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People
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More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
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There are people who study germs. I believe they are called Germans
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One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.
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The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said God Bless you I said, I didn't sneeze She looked deep into my eyes and said, You will, eventually. And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
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I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
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I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who's making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?
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Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It's not a number at all.
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Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
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I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
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I had a really tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn't ringing. There wasn't one job offer. And at that point, I thought I knew for sure that I wouldn't work in Hollywood again.
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My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and that there's a higher power and an intelligence that's bigger than us and that we can rely on. It's not just us, thinking we are the ones in control of everything. That idea gives me support.
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No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.
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Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.
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I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
Ellen DeGeneres
Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
Ellen DeGeneres
I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules.
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I admire people who know they can't sing. There are so many people out there who can't sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
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Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
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For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That's to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life.
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Baloney is just salami with an inferiority complex.
Ellen DeGeneres
