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You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.

Ellen DeGeneres

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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Assuming
Happens
Make
Never
Spelled
Ass
Assume

More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

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Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don't worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.
Ellen DeGeneres
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You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
Ellen DeGeneres
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A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
Ellen DeGeneres
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You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.
Ellen DeGeneres
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What goes up must come down, which is why I don't wear tube tops.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me! I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!
Ellen DeGeneres
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Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
Ellen DeGeneres
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The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Please raise your children with love and non-judgement. Tell them everyone has the right to love who they want to love. It shouldn’t threaten you or who you are.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I don't know who had the bright idea of teaching pneumonia how to walk, but I'd like to find that dunderhead before he decides he wants to teach it how to drive.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never. And how dare you! I will take no further questions.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Honestly, we'd probably be great parents. But it's a human being, and unless you think you have excellent skills and have a drive or yearning in you to do that, the amount of work that that is and responsibility - I wouldn't want to screw them up! We love our animals.
Ellen DeGeneres
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It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting.
Ellen DeGeneres
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My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
Ellen DeGeneres
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There are people who study germs. I believe they are called Germans
Ellen DeGeneres
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I don't know what people are scared of...maybe they think their children will be influenced by gay marriage, but I've got to tell you, I was raised by two heterosexuals. Everywhere I looked - heterosexuals. And they did not influence me. It's time we love people for who they are and let them love who they want.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
Ellen DeGeneres